I wasn't asexual at all though, but it just wasn't whoI am, so I never really cared how hot a woman was, even when I was aguy. I still felt and understood a man's instinctual urges though (whenI was a guy), and I would have thought that I looked rather bland as agirl. It just didn't make sense to me. No, no, no, no.....I shouldn't be thinking like this. I should be thinking about my otherworld, my nightmare, my dream in my mind. Who cares if I'm cute or notto others? Why does it matter? I don't want a partner anyway. I just...I just want.... I blanked out for a moment. My indifference tells me Idon't know what I want, but I know that's not the truth. I....I just...Ijust want....I just want a friend again. I feel ashamed to admit that,like I don't deserve it. What about my foster family? Those make-shiftbrothers and sisters, and make-shift parents; didn't I have a chancewith them? They loved each other just like any family would and yet Inever talked to them or gave them a chance to. " I didn't say I'm going to touch him," said Frankie. "But now I'm not worried about him any more." That doesn't make any sense at all," argued Phee. "You've argued against having him in here from the beginning." That's because I thought I was going to lose," said Frankie. "I'm not so sure about that any more." She grinned.I held up a hand."In the interest of full disclosure, I need to remind everybody that our parents won't let me have a girlfriend, or Phee have a boyfriend until we graduate. They're old fashioned about it."Denise waved a hand back at me. "A mere formality," she said."I like all of you," I reminded them."A formality that isn't so mere," noted Denise. "But I can live with it, as long as Roberta isn't included." Roberta isn't included," I said firmly."Having a formal boyfriend is overrated," said Beth. "They get all clingy and want you to do things." I don't want anybody's heart to get broken," I said."Who the fuck do you think you are?" That was Danni, who finally.
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